Colorado Counseling, Inc.
Providing Solutions to Individuals and Families

Four Main Problems in Relationships Based on a Marital Study

  1. Money
  2. Sex
  3. Children
  4. Family

                Ratio 5 to 1 for every bad thing, you need 5 good things going for the one bad

Four Main Predictors of Divorce

  1. Contempt
  2. Criticism
  3. Stonewalling (don't deal with emotion)
  4. Defensiveness

        Women        Men
        Pursue -vs.- Distance

        Types of Personalities
        Toxic -vs.- Non-Toxic

               Women tend to pursue; Men tend to distance

Four Typical Patterns of People Who Stayed Together

  1. Respect
  2. Caring
  3. Shared Task Responsibility
  4. Humor

                When feeling the following you should try to move in the opposite direction:

  1. Contemp                                           -Admiration Validation
  2. Criticism                                            -Be more specific
  3. Stonewalling                                     -Deal with distress
  4. Defensiveness                                   -Calm Down

            Reactivity                            -Your reactions
            Emotional Contagion          -From anger to crying, high emotional levels are contagious

                When trying to solve problems you want to keep your emotional level down.                


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